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Relationships and sex

I have spent most of my adult life in a wheelchair and before hooking up with my partner had no shared sexual experiences. Our relationship has changed since his medical condition worsened and we no longer share the same bed or any physical contact.

Earlier this summer I met someone who is also a wheelchair user who is also in a long term relationship and we talked about relationships. Since then we meet up often and at first we cuddled and hugged each other before meeting in secret where we kissed passionately. I have talked with my partner about this and he says enjoy myself but please don’t end our relationship.

I was surprised when I told this to my new friend who told me that he too has talked with his wife who said almost the same thing. Our relationship has not yet gone beyond kissing but with us both in wheelchairs we get some funny looks if we so much as hold hands. We have even been asked to leave a pub because we were kissing and one of the regulars complained. Where can we go in or near Swansea in the winter?

Comments

  • Go for it Doll! Wish you were in my life :)

  • Doll your openness is comendable and if only more people were like you. Having been denied physical contact of a loving kind most of my life I can only dream of such a situation and thank you for sewing the seed for memorable thoughts and dreams.

  • So glad of this discussion. Growing up watching my friends having relationships I always felt isolated from relationships until I was 26 and met a fellow wheelchair user of similar age who felt the same. Our friendship grew and although a conventional physical relationship was not possible we shared intimate feelings and openly discussed our frustrations and needs and enjoyed many crazy moments.

    Our relationship continued for over 5 years until his health deteriorated and he passed away. Since then there has been no one in my life but I am so glad of being able to have had this experience. I have met so many fellow disabled people frustrated by this aspect of their life. More openness is needed.

  • Tried online dating but no serios interest but plenty of pervs. Relationship means different things to different people. Love and care means more than sex to me.
  • Yeah too many pervs about searching for victim chicks in wheelchairs. Met loads and reported one to the police who did not believe me. I felt real small and useless but if I ever see that perv again I will bite his smelly penis off if he waves it in front of my face again.

  • I lost my wife 14 years ago and never thought that I would have another relationship until 4 years ago at Christmas I met a very old school friend who had lost her husband the year before. Both our lives have changed and although I am disabled we enjoy regular sex which became non existent with my late wife after my accident 22 years ago.

  • edited November 29

    Have been talking about this with my friend who has also had bad times with guys who only want sex and brag about wheelchair conquests with their mates. There are some bad people on the internet dating sites.

  • Private time is important for relationships to grow and last summer one of my carers took me to to see a film with a new disabled lady who she also cared for. It was a match made in heaven and we are now taken to see films every week where we kiss each other. Next year we will go on holiday together. I am 25 and this my first relationship and it is nice. We may try sex on holiday.

    Told by Joe and writted by a friend.

  • my dream is meeting a guy who I can trust and love, even for just 1 night. Met some on line guys who just want to talk dirty

  • Plenty of sympathy from girls I like when asked for a date but 'no cigar' so to speak. I don't feel comfortable in pubs and clubs or want to use online dating. Relationships difficult.
  • At university all my relationships were casual probably as students we were all keen to explore our boundaries. At least I was anyway and my disability never stood in my way but now that I am older and have moved back to my parents relationships and sex are difficult as getting out to meet people is not easy. I live in an online world and have many friends so my relationships are virtual.

  • the only relationship I ever had lasted 2 days then she sobered up and went.

  • Joined a group of disabled unconventional movers and shakers a few years ago where I met my girlfriend. The group which no longer exists was set up by a gay disabled activist but welcomed all sexual orientations. We used to meet like minded people in Cardiff, Wrexham, London and once in France and often non disabled people joined us. I have been together with my girlfriend for 4 years. We both have CP and are looking into adopting a child. Anything is possible with an open mind and heart but most importantly, in our case, open minded carers and support.

  • Me and my boyfriend split up in the summer and since then I have met a guy who will not sleep with me but only wants me to perform oral sex on him. I like him and it was one of his friends who told me that he is afraid of hurting me if we slept together. I do not want to loose him and have invited him to spend Christmas Eve with me.

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